JenniferClairee

"MAKE UP IS MAKE BELIEVE SO SLAP IT ON BE MY BEST FRIEND"

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Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor

 

earthdad:

interviewer: any special talents?

me: i can scream for a very long time

interviewer: that wasn’t what i was aski-

me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*in the back of a police car* can you hand me the aux cord?

starshipspirk:

dashdrive:

you gotta be careful with girls named katherine because it could be spelled katherine or kathryn or catherine cathryn katherin kcatcheyn ckathcryrn catrchckern kathtrine 

release the catrchckern 

emocas:

brendon urie out here bein’ bisexual, acknowledging asexuality unprompted, playin’ free concerts for fans over periscope, making up for his faux pas, talkin’ about his adhd and panic attacks, bein up late at night just to talk to fans, living with his wife who he’s been in a relationship with for 6 years and their dogs, cracking jokes, interacting with fans so much it’s nearly unbelievable, dedicating songs to fans, etc etc. basically i just love my son brendon beebo urie so much????

yeoldenews:

Bertha Boronda (from the first San Quentin photo set I posted) was sentenced to five years in prison for “Mayhem” in 1908.

What’s “Mayhem” you ask? Apparently in Bertha’s case, it’s cutting off your cheating husband’s penis with a straight razor, disguising yourself as a man and fleeing by bicycle.

lunchbox-philosopher:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

everyone stop this is my new favorite joke ever

aladone:

my gravestone will say “oMFg i DiEd”

whoaretheplastics:

this man must be protected at all costs

arrgorns: “ The Snitch. His nerveless fingers fumbled for a moment with the pouch at his neck and he pulled it out. I open at the close. Breathing fast and hard, he stared down at it. Now that he wanted time to move as slowly as possible, it seemed...

arrgorns:

The Snitch. His nerveless fingers fumbled for a moment with the pouch at his neck and he pulled it out. I open at the close. Breathing fast and hard, he stared down at it. Now that he wanted time to move as slowly as possible, it seemed to have sped up, and understanding was coming so fast it seemed to have bypassed thought. This was the close. This was the moment.